Dear Data is our satirical advice column for real problems. We turn your letters into laughs and, sometimes, useful guidance. You can write under your name or a pseudonym. Please leave out secrets, private data, and anything that would make Legal cry.
What makes a great letter
- One problem, clearly stated.
- Concrete details without confidential info.
- A hint of your world. Data, AI, privacy, lineage, CDEs, MDM, access, analytics adoption, audits, smart city, aerospace, pop culture mashups.
- Length target: 120 to 250 words.
What not to send
- Credentials, personal data, client names, internal docs.
- HR disputes about real individuals.
- Anything under an NDA.
- Medical or legal requests.
What happens next
- We review for clarity and safety.
- We may edit for length and tone.
- We publish selected letters with a satirical reply.
- Not every letter gets a response.
Micro‑disclaimer
All submissions are treated as satire and commentary. By submitting, you confirm you have the right to share the text and you grant us permission to edit and publish it on the site and in our newsletter.